DEPRESSION VENTS: Women Against Equality (Part 3)

This woman's name is Sarah G.  This is one of the most cowardly, disloyal, selfish, pathetic, dishonest, and manipulative females I have ever met in my life and I will say this right now:  Anyone and I mean ANYONE who dares to defend this woman after all I say and show to me, get the fuck off my social media pages and don't ever follow or subscribe to me ever again.  I take this matter that seriously.

Anyway, I met Sarah here on deviantART a long time ago and we began to develop a friendship with her within the Sonic fandom.  We commented on each other's stuff a lot, chatted in notes and even on occasion via Skype or text.  Our friendship kept on growing large that she called me her best friend and I was falling in love with her after a previous friend of mine whom I developed feelings for cut things off with me due to complications (nothing was a personal fault of either of us however and we still remained friends).  I did tell her and she was flattered, but she wasn't ready for a relationship, though she never said no either.  Due to this, while still expressing my feelings, I didn't want to force a date or anything, so it was kind of complicated.  None the less, she remained just as friendly and loyal and I did my best to do the same.

One day came when the weight of a lot of problems were just getting on me and my clinical depression was pushed enough that I was feeling suicidal one day.  A lot of my friends were trying to talk me out of it, but I really didn't want the attention so I hung up on Skype and just tried to think before I did anything.  I went out for dinner though had a brief thought of jumping off the bridge I was crossing, but resisted and just got my food.  When I got back and I was going on Skype to talk to someone whom I was going to sleep over at so we could go pick up Super Smash Bros. Brawl together, Sarah was on Skype and she called me.  I wasn't happy about this as I told the people I was talking to to not contact her about this.  At this time, I wasn't feeling suicidal anymore, but I was still rather depressed.  When Sarah spoke to me, I wasn't sure how she really felt since at first she was rather monotone in her voice, but then started raising it.  Her mom got on and recommended this clinic to me and I figured if it can help me get something like therapy or something to help with my depression.  However, when I went, there was a misunderstanding and the people there (who I swear barely understood how to speak English let alone write or read it) took bigger steps, but I wasn't completely clear on the whole thing until it was too late and I was sent to a psychward.  That was one of the most horrible experiences of my life and I needed to get out of there.  However, I maintained my cool and explained the situation to the staff there and they let me go later that night.  Once I got home, I tried to contact some of my friends to let them know I was alright then.  Sarah however was the only one who didn't appear happy to see me as she was basically saying I should have been staying in the hospital.  I explained to her what happened and here's how she responded…. she unfriended me here on DA.  She didn't tell me why, she didn't respond to me when I explained what happened, she just unfriended me.  For someone who called me their best friend, she really didn't treat me like such or handle anything with me fairly or maturely.  I tried to show her I wasn't holding any ill will at the time towards her for this (I wrote her a poem saying how she would always be my friend, but sadly, I could not keep my word there after what she did).  She then responded after I tried to show her nothing but kindness in a response after she unfriended me (and I think I only sent one response along with the poem) and she responded in a note these exact words (and if need be, I can recover a screenshot for further proof):

"Stop contacting me and harassing me or I will report you to the police."

I was shocked and devastated and just really angry.  First of all, I did NOTHING to harass her.  I did nothing more then tell her the truth and show her only kindness.  Also, call the police on me for what?  I didn't do anything wrong.  This shattered everything I knew about Sarah and I then just saw her as a cruel, twisted psycho.  Considering I just got out of a psychward and was suicidal a couple of days ago, and was very depressed, from what I saw, she was trying to purposely push me to suicidal and get me to kill myself.  One of my friends was backing me up at the time and called Sarah out for her cruelty.  Sarah responded to her saying I was controlling and I lied about everything.  I wasn't trying to control Sarah at all, in fact when she called me after being alerted I was suicidally depressed, I didn't want her to even be notified or call me about it as I didn't want to put her through this.  Also, I never lied and she didn't even have a single shred of evidence I was lying.  So instead of talking to me about like, you know, a FRIEND, especially for someone who called me her best friend, she just ditches me.  I asked another friend of mine to show her the proof that what I said was true, that I really did end up in a psychward, and because I need everyone else to know this and I showed this on a previous journal, I shall reshare the proof here:

     

Now here's where I get even more infuriated with the situation.  When she was shown, she thanked my friend for letting her know the truth, but she said we should go separate ways.  Why?  I didn't do anything wrong to her and I wasn't trying to do anything bad to or with her.  Again, this is how you treat someone you called your best friend?  If this had to do with me having feelings for her, then she's an even bigger coward then everything else I am going to make her out to be with all she has done.  She never directly said no with me, she just said she wasn't ready for a relationship.  To quote Christopher Titus "Yeah, no does mean no, but you know what? You actually have to say NO!" so the fault is entirely on her for that.  Also, she was proven I wasn't lying, so shouldn't she be apologizing to me for how she treated me, especially if she really cared about me as a friend?  Well, no, she never did.  She just wanted to leave me ditched.  I contacted her and criticized her for this and I felt like she owed me a moment to fully have this situation explained to her, and I also felt like I was used with this whole situation that ended me up in the psych ward.  Instead, she goes total bitch on me and tells me to never speak to her again and says she is the one who feels used.  HOW THE FUCKING HELL DID I USE HER?  I didn't force her to do anything for me, in fact, I think I was doing more for her then she was me.  At this point, I saw her true colors.  She wasn't sorry, she wasn't the sweetie I thought she was, it was all a facade.  She was a total coward with me and my feelings, so she takes advantage of a horrid situation I was in and twists it into me trying to manipulate and use her which I never did, I even mentioned that I didn't want her involved in this shit.  What's even more sickening is she kept on lying to everyone saying that I lied to her when she was shown the FUCKING PROOF I WASN'T.  Because of that, I knew everything she was saying was a flat out lie and she was being manipulative.  She even kept on putting on these crocodile tears to make everyone fall for her sob stories and even making up crap like she doesn't go on Skype anymore because of me.  I didn't do anything on Skype and once again for the day I was depressed, I DIDN'T WANT HER ON AND SHE WAS THE ONE WHO CALLED ME!  I never called her that day, it was all her.  So I know that is BS.  Because of her dishonesty, crocodile tears, and her sweet facade, she pretty much manipulated almost everyone against me and got them to falsely claim she was the innocent one.

I lost so many people I thought were my friends thanks to this psychopath.  Many of these people were claiming she never did any of this stuff to me and I just hated her because she didn't return my feelings or dumped me.  First of all, that's retarded because I've also had a bit of a love thing with my old friend Ami, and she was the one who cut things off with me, and she did this BEFORE I had any feelings for Sarah.  I cried when Ami cut things off, but I never tried to hurt her or had any malicious feelings towards her since then.  In fact, me and Ami had remained really good friends even after she cut off the love stuff with me.  And you know why?  Because she wasn't mean, cruel, dishonest, or hurtful towards me about it.  Ami was perfectly fair, reasonable, friendly, and understanding.  Sarah was NONE of those things, she was the complete opposite.  So why would I be only hostile towards her and not Ami?  It doesn't make any sense.  Heck, I've had an actual girlfriend after those two, but things didn't work out and I was the one who chose to break up, but I've still remained friends with that person.  Heck, my current girlfriend and the one I truly love after all we've been through, Kristen, she and I have fought occasionally, but we've never gone hostile towards each other and we still love each other and have stuck to our relationship to this day.  Considering I am older and wiser now then I was back then during this issue with Sarah (and I admit, I did not handle the situation she put me in very maturely at all, but at the same time, it was the first time I was ever betrayed that badly), and I have tried to make amends with people I have actually hurt in the past now, I wouldn't still be showing this hatred towards Sarah if these claims that I was just upset that she didn't return my feelings were true.  So I am disgusted that people even use that strawman argument to claim Sarah is innocent.  I've been nothing but scapegoated with this woman, and she's been the biggest reason I gained a fear of the female sex due to their skill for manipulation and this has been a prime example that woman are not always sweet and innocent, and men can be abused by women as well and not just women abused by men.  Because of this, I've become a strong supporter for equal rights for all genders, not just men, not just women, but ALL genders.

Now I will admit, at one point, I tried to work things out with Sarah and it seemed to be successful, but I stupidly let my old feelings return and expressed why I was upset about the whole thing, especially when she put in my face that she now has a boyfriend just as I was trying to make up with her.  Part of me felt hurt, teased, and insulted with that.  Now, I did try to see if me and Sarah among some other friends I had locally could maybe hang out and build something, but when I was trying to schedule an event and I never got an answer with her, so she just left me hanging (I saw she read the note as the sent note wasn't highlighted), so I mentioned that I wasn't happy with that and why I wish she wouldn't do that and I tried as nicely as I could, but she still didn't respond about it, and I just really saw in the end that I wasn't wrong about her, she was still the same fraud she proved to me she was.  So I removed contact with her for the final time and just chose to never contact her again.  And further proof on this I feel is that if we did try to sort things out, she wouldn't have blocked me on this current account when I moved from my old one when I didn't do anything towards her since that final separation I did.  So yeah, she was never sorry or honest.

Now some of the people who really fucked me over when she was being manipulative and pretending to be the victim when I was the one she betrayed, I have complete disgust for now, one of whom being YamatoBushi whom I have already discussed before and considering how vile this guy is, it may not be the last. He even claimed because I called Sarah a monster and to Yamato, she is the "sweetest girl ever" that I am a liar and he would never forgive me.  Here the thing, I detest lying for the most part, and I wouldn't lie about people to hurt them.  But if someone is mistreating me or trying to fuck with me, I'll call them out, and Yamato, I have evidence that he was fucking with me.  Heck, this asshole even another friend I had turned on me, he went right out to defend her just because she's a woman and he wasn't there or knows the story at all. This guy is one of the biggest sexist pigs I know.  However, there's someone in this situation whom I actually find even worse and I will say him by name here (first name at least) as what he did was so disgusting, so disrespectful, so dishonest, and so selfish, and so insulting that I have zero tolerance for this guy.

This man's name is Gilbert and I'm personally not the only one who has a problem with this guy.  Now he wanted to be my friend in the past and I did try to get to know him and for a while, he showed me a few things which I thought was interesting and I was trying to do the same with him.  When Sarah betrayed me, I vented to this guy exactly what she did to me and told him not to ever go near her if he wants to be safe and he flat out promised me he wouldn't.  One reason I vented to him is I heard from one of my friends that Gilbert was constantly talking about me and Sarah like he was heavily interested in her and me.  I don't know if this had to do with the fact that I was in love with her previously (I think it may have), or when she betrayed me.  This is why I both told him to block her and exactly what she did to me so he could understand.  He was a big fan of mine and didn't want us to unwatch each other, and I really needed him to understand what Sarah did to me and understand that I couldn't trust her again after how she betrayed me.  Also, Gilbert only watched Sarah because of me and how I was in love with her previously.